Day 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Day 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair . . . must try this on their pillows tonight.

Day 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

Day 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.

Day 805 – Had a great dream at naptime…

The Scene: The Pearly Gates to Heaven. St. Peter is receptionist at the
entrance.

I (Skitz) show up.

St. Peter says "I know you! You were a very nice kitty on earth and didn't
cause any trouble, so I want to offer a gift to you of one special thing you
have always wanted."

I (Skitz): "Well, I did always long to own a nice satin pillow like my master
had, so I could lie on it."

St. Peter: "That's easy. Granted. You shall have the satin pillow after
you enter in."

Next a group of mice appeared.

St Peter: "Ah, I remember you. You were such good mice on earth. You didn't steal food from anyone's house and never hurt other animals. Therefore, I want to grant you one special wish you always wanted."

The Chief Mouse replied, "Well, we always watched the children playing and saw them roller skate, and it was beautiful, and it looked like so much fun. So can we have some roller skates, please?"

St. Peter: "Granted. You shall have your wish."

Next day, St. Peter is making the rounds inside the Gates, and saw me bathing,  "Well, Skitz . . . did you enjoy the satin pillow?"

I (Skitz): "Oh, indeed I did. And say . . . that "Meals on Wheels" thing was a
nice touch too!"